I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
