Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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