If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
