Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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