I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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