well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
