You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
