Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
