Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....