If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.