I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode