I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.