is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She said her name was "party"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
