I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
