I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize