White coat. Heels.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just had sex on a roof
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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