I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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