you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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