She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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