Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
