i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize