the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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