Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
