My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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