Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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