I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
