he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
