I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
