i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
