im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's official drugs can't kill me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
