Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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