What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
