Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
