Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
