Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
