i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He shit in the fireplace
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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