No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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