Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
