Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
