paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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