I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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