your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize