so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
