come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do vagina's smell?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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