please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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