my vag is so smooth its legendary
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
