Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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