Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
