dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
