I wish i was in the wii world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.