8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize