they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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