He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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