i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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