how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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