I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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