So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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