Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
