shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
