You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
