i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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