yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
