I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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