he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
