There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
