i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize