when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
