Michael Bay diarrhea
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
