Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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